it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
