Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
