its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
