I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie