People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.