If i come over, it means nothing
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
