Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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