Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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