i'm signing you up for texting rehab
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
