oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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