the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
