The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
