Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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