i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
