I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
