it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry about my life...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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