I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How naked do you want me to be?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
