Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
zippers are such a cool invention
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
