so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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