I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
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Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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