i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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