I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
