At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
