this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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