you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just gargled with NyQuil
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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