why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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