i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
