She is in my trunk
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Randomize
