wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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