my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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