I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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