Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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