"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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