I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
