i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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