Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
