i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
