You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
