You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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