So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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