is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
