u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize