New invention idea: vibrating tampons
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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