dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
