I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
