the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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