we have officially lost it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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