Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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