recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
