i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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