All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
