Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
