Yo dont text me then not text me
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
