And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
