Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dignity is for republicans.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The uberlube is also flammable
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
