can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
