My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was like eating out sand paper
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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