I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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