I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize