Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
