I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize