I think i sorta joined a cult last night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
