Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
